A Christmas Carol
by NerdySkeleton
Summary: Skulduggery Pleasant is visited by three ghosts on December 24th. The Past, Present, and Future all work together to convince him to somehow change in order the prevent the bleak future with an insane Darquesse. Slight gore.


I had trouble coming up with an idea for this ):

However, I asked the great **Mademise Morte** for suggestions, and then yeah. Yaayy! The original I had is now being formed together with the one that will be the written one…Uh, yeah. I suppose this is kind of cliché, but I really like this…

**For the record, all the _bad_ things that happened in Mortal Coil haven't happened here…**

Yeah, Christmas may be about the birth of Jesus Christ and all that super AWESOME stuff, but this won't focus on that. (For the record, I'm totally a Jesus freak now.)

I dedicate this to everyone I love in real life and on here. Also this is dedicated to the people I hate, because they need to be loved too. I thank you all for your kind words and support over the days and months. Thanks so much for reading in advance!

**Obviously this is based off of Charles Dickens' story, ****A Christmas Carol****. I just toyed with the characters a little. **

Merry Christmas, everyone! :D

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant sighed, shutting the light off in his living room, tucking Valkyrie Cain in. He stood back, admiring her peaceful face. He could see through her mask; he knew she'd rather spend the Christmas holiday with her _real_ family. Valkyrie had to stay with him and only spend so much time on Christmas because of the Weekly Baddie. This villain kept murdering; the Christmas cheer didn't stop him.

Skulduggery didn't blame her, no. He may be the greatest man to ever walk on the earth, but even the great Skulduggery Pleasant couldn't compare to the love a mother provided. He looked across the pitiful looking tree in the corner, adorned with tinsel and lights and small ornaments. Tanith Low had taken the time to create paper ornaments of each other them.

Skulduggery sighed again, shuffling over to his bedroom. He undressed quickly, putting on a new and more comfortable suit. He almost shut the bedroom door to head back into his living room when there was suddenly a clatter and clank following a cough.

Skulduggery pivoted, figuring it was Fletcher pretending to be Santa.

It was Fletcher. Fletcher and Finbar.

They were both floating above the ground a few feet. Tattered uniforms sit them snugly while heavy and clunking chains hung from their feet and wrists and other limbs.

"_Ooooh_!" Fletcher said loudly, waving his fingers around in a strange fashion.

"Fletcher, stop that," Skulduggery said tiredly.

"Skul-man!" Finbar said greeting him. "What's shakin', bacon?"

Skulduggery lowered his skull, jamming his palm onto his forehead repeatedly. "This is obviously an illusion."

"We're here to _waaaaaarn _you!" Fletcher said again, shaking his chains vigorously.

"For goodness sake, Fletcher, be quiet!"

He shrugged. "Sorry." He let his arms hang limply by his sides. "Okay, so we, the Wrenn Brothers, are here to warn you that if you don't change your attitude about Christmas, you'll be hated by everyone. I wanted to sing a song about it, but Finbar won't let me."

"He could only fit lyrics to children's rhymes!"

Skulduggery paused. "Why? Why will everyone hate me?"

"See," Fletcher said, taking a tone that made Skulduggery feel like a small child, "the way things are now, you've always been really uncaring about Christmas. You don't hate the holiday, but it's not one of your favorite days of the year. Everyone around you usually gets that excited feeling about Christmas. You're the only one who doesn't let it effect you."

"And if you let your serious work side get the best of you," Finbar said, joining in, "pretty soon you'll lose your partner."

Skulduggery perked up. "Valkyrie? Why? What?"

"She'd rather much be with her family during all of this, I'm sure you know," Finbar continued. "And because you're keeping her away from her loving parents, those harsh grudges are going to be formed and held."

"What are you even talking about, Finbar?" Skulduggery asked, becoming only slightly worried.

"We brothers can't say," Fletcher said sadly. "But we know that if you don't end up changing your ways through three ghosts that visit you tonight, you'll end up dead and in chains like us."

"…Why are you in chains in the first place?"

"We didn't care about Christmas either. And because of this, they killed us."

"What? Who killed you?"

"We can't _saaaaaaaay_!" Fletcher said, reverting back to that weird tone of voice he had. "We just know that at one, two, and three in the morning you'll be visited by three _ghooooooooosts_!"

He and Finbar wiggled their fingers around and jangled the chains on their feet, filling the room with loud clatters and clangs. A few moments later and a bright burst of light appeared suddenly, sucking the two "ghosts" into it.

Skulduggery shook his head, confused a little, but marched straight out of the door and into the living room. He noticed the magnificent grandfather he kept to the side; it was ticking and ticking like it was taunting him in a way.

Surely those "ghosts" wouldn't appear.

They couldn't.

Skulduggery shook his head and sat down in his traditional armchair, shutting himself down for the night.

* * *

_DING!_

Skulduggery awoke at the sound of the clock.

He looked and saw it was 1 A.M.

So far no ghosts…

He chuckled quietly. Did he _really_ think ghosts could exist and change his mind or something silly like that?

He almost answered his own inner-monologue's questions, but there was suddenly a bright flash of light again. He grunted at the rays and beams of white light, eventually taking a step back from it.

When he finally could look again, there was a floating version of a good friend of his.

China Sorrows.

She was dressed in a long white nightdress. Her hair was left down and straight; Skulduggery found himself watching the strands as they floated about her gorgeous face. Her cheeks were a rosy color. She had no other make up on. Her pale, pale blue eyes stood out against the paper white skin and nightdress and black as raven hair.

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Past, China Sorrows," China said grandly. Her movements were slow and graceful.

"I figured as much," Skulduggery said. "Let's just get this over with."

China cocked her head. "Well, we're certainly not going to get anything accomplished that _that_ attitude, Skulduggery. But take my hand anyway. We need to be heading out if we want to be back in time for two o'clock."

She held out her hand expectantly. Skulduggery slowly grasped her delicate hand and found he was suddenly lifted above the ground and was no longer in his house on Cemetery Road.

"Where are you taking me, China?" he asked after a few moments.

"With me being the Ghost of Christmas Past, I'm charged with the task of showing exactly that: the past and most memorable Christmas' of yours. We'll begin with one I'm sure you'll very vividly remember."

"Why are you the ghost for this?"

"Aren't I a very prominent figure from your past? I'm one of the few people who can remember exactly what you looked like with flesh. I was there for your death. I fought in that silly war – well I _watched_ that silly war go by, really."

By now, they had stopped their gliding, and they were descending upon the ground. Skulduggery touched down softly, noticing the thin layer of snow he was standing on. China remained floating. With her small hands, she gestured in front of her and began drifting. Skulduggery dug his hands into his suit pockets and followed her. Skulduggery was being led through a dense forest, and something inside of him clicked.

Suddenly, he knew _exactly_ where he was.

Within a few more yards, they would reach the edge of the forest. Skulduggery would come face to face with his childhood home.

"Remember this day?" China gently asked.

Skulduggery nodded. "All too well, yes."

China broke through the line of trees first, waiting for Skulduggery to catch up. He peeked through the dead and icicle decorated trees and sucked breath in shock.

There was the small but cozy little home Skulduggery Pleasant lived in for the beginning of his life. He stepped around the trees and kept following the flying China. She held out her hand and allowed him to enter first.

"I'm guessing we'll be invisible and we can pass through walls?"

China nodded. Skulduggery grunted and took a step forward, feeling himself pass through the solid brick. He stumbled into the small living room and sighed sadly. In the corner was his now dead older brother. His mother was feeding his now dead baby sister, while he, the middle child, sat on his father's lap.

Skulduggery's father's taken name was Rayner Achilles. He had bronze skin, with dark and unruly hair and rich forest green eyes. Skulduggery's mother's taken name was Claramay Raz. Their three children had yet to take a taken name, so Skulduggery was just known by his given name: Matthew Burke.

Valkyrie had often tried to guess his given name. She just assumed that it was some exotic sounding name that seemed rolled off the tongue like melted butter. She wouldn't ever guess his name.

…Valkyrie!

"China, what am I supposed to get out of this?" he asked, getting slightly impatient. "How will this prevent Valkyrie from hating me?"

China didn't say anything; she held her finger to her lips and pointed at the family scene in front of them.

Skulduggery fell quiet, watching as he was told to do.

His mother tickled his baby sister, bringing her over to the small tree towards the corner. The elder brother took the baby happily and cooed softly to her.

"Matthew, why don't you help out your mother?" his father asked him, giving his wild black hair a ruffle. Skulduggery the Younger looked at his father and got up and skipped over to his mother and helped make their breakfast.

Skulduggery watched with awe; so many things were coming to his mind suddenly. He could remember this day well. Any minute now…

There was a heavy knock on the door.

Rayner and Claramay shared a skeptical look. "Watch your siblings," they called to the elder brother. He nodded and hoisted up his baby sister while he stood by Skulduggery the Younger protectively. Rayner and Claramay stepped out of the little house, and an argument followed. A man with a gruff voice was shouting at their father. Their mother would voice her opinion occasionally, but the people outside would tell her to quiet down. After quite a few long minutes, the parents returned back inside the house. The elder brother kept trying to ask what was wrong, but the parents would not say.

That Christmas day continued on like normal, but Skulduggery knew what would happen. That very next day his parents were gone. He never saw them again.

"Come on," China muttered gently, reaching to grasp his hand. I have one more thing to show you."

Skulduggery held onto her hand tightly. They passed through the wall, and suddenly Skulduggery was being lifted up again through the air. China floated along, tugging him with her. After just a few minutes, China descended and let go of Skulduggery. He planted his feet firmly on the ground, trying to gather where he was.

"Oh God," he said, realizing where he was. There was a bare field with ugly brown patches dotted along the grass. Tree stumps stood lonely and short. The forest that Skulduggery and China had just passed through had been cut down already. The little house in front of them was the exact home that Skulduggery had lived in as a child. Though now he occupied with it with his now deceased wife and child.

"Come on," China murmured.

"I don't want to see this."

"You have to if you want things to be fixed."

Skulduggery sighed and began trudging up to the door of the house. He peeked through the window and felt his heart break from the site. He gingerly stepped into the house and watched his wife and child open small presents. His past self, still fully-skinned, was sitting in a chair right by them.

"Oh I love it!" his wife, Evangeline Falls shouted and hugged her husband tightly. Skulduggery the Younger laughed and hugged her back.

"Thanks, dad," Damien Seas, who was thirteen at the time, said.

Skulduggery watched his younger and happier self happily celebrate Christmas with his family, knowing exactly what would happen next.

Skulduggery the Younger looked up sharply at the loud pounding on his door. Damien began running to answer the door, but he held his son back and answered the door himself.

"Ghastly," Skulduggery the Younger greeted his old friend.

Ghastly Bespoke was definitely younger at that time. His face still had some boyish traces in it, and all of his rippling muscles hadn't formed fully yet. His clothes were a bit wrinkled and dirty, but no one really had the luxury of clean clothes during the war.

"Merry Christmas," Ghastly replied hastily, giving a bow to Evangeline and a small wave to Damien. "Skulduggery, we need you now. They just launched their attack at the Marsh because someone told them you wouldn't be there."

"A traitor?" Skulduggery the Younger asked quietly, stepping closer to Ghastly.

His friend nodded. "No one knows who told them," he said. "We have to hurry. They still have people coming and coming, but we're short on men."

Skulduggery the Younger nodded and quickly ran to say goodbye to his family. He grabbed a hat and rushed out the door with Ghastly. They raced down the fields and ran for miles before arriving at the bloody battle.

Skulduggery didn't realize he was following them. China's delicate hand was clasped in his, and they were flying.

Skulduggery watched his vibrant and younger self fight valiantly, suffering injury after injury. After hours and hours of the fighting did the enemy finally retreat.

Skulduggery the Younger slowly returned home. When he got there, he found the windows barricaded with wood beams. He tried opening the door, but it was locked.

"Evangeline? Damien?" he shouted, pounding on the door. "Are you there? Are you all right? Open up!"

He heard a clicking noise and suddenly the door swung open. A hand reached out and grabbed Skulduggery the Younger's shirt and dragging him to a kitchen chair. Evangeline pushed him down on the chair and removed his shirt and set to cleaning up his wounds.

"They're not bad," he muttered as she applied a liquid to a slice on his back.

"Of course they are," she replied gruffly. "How can you not suffer bad injuries when returning from a complete massacre like that?"

Skulduggery the Younger laughed. "I suppose you're right. Where's Damien?"

"In his room," she said. "I told him to wait there until you returned home. He wouldn't want to see all this blood."

"He wants to fight."

"He will not be allowed to fight."

"I know. I just feel terrible he won't be allowed. What if he becomes such a great warrior? Do you think he could? What if becomes the greatest man who ever lived? What if we were preventing him from doing just that?"

"We'll find a new savior, then," Evangeline responded.

Skulduggery the Younger sighed and allowed his wife to continue her bandaging.

What they all didn't know was that next year, by that time, they all would have died.

Skulduggery turned to China. "Don't show me next year, please. I know what that one was like. Please don't."

China shook her head. "I won't. Besides, it's time to head back. You need to get home to experience the Present."

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant suddenly awoke.

He was sitting in his favorite armchair like he had been before the first ghost came along. He looked over to the side and noticed a still sleeping Valkyrie on the couch. The clock towards the wall read 1:50 AM. Skulduggery scowled at the clock, knowing the second ghost would arrive within ten minutes.

Ghosts. What had he just experienced? He hadn't believed that Fletcher and Finbar were real ghosts…but apparently they were. How was this happening? Why was he the Scrooge of the scenario? Professor Grouse was more of a Scrooge than him! At least Skulduggery had gotten presents for everyone. Kenspeckle didn't do anything for Christmas. He let Clarabelle put up a little fake tree in the corner of his labs, and that was it.

Skulduggery watched the clock for a few minutes. 1:57 AM. He groaned inwardly and began pacing around the room until the clock struck two o'clock. He paced and paced and paced and paced…

_DING! DING! _

Skulduggery stared at the clock and warily looked around him for the flash of bright light that would most likely appear. He turned his head and jumped back in surprise. Someone was standing right next to him.

Tanith Low had a mischievous grin on her face. She wore her regular leather clothing, but she had a Santa hat perched on her head.

"Merry Christmas!" she shouted joyfully, jumping up and down. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present!"

"Yes, hello there, Tanith," Skulduggery said quietly. "Can you please be quieter? Valkyrie's trying to sleep." He turned to look at her sleeping form on the couch, but she wasn't there. "Where is she?"

"In the kitchen."

Skulduggery tilted his head at her. He strolled through the house until he reached the kitchen, pausing to stop in the doorway. He realized it must be that Christmas morning.

Valkyrie Cain was sitting at the table. Fletcher sat next to her with his arms around her shoulders. Ghastly was sitting in a chair, with the real Tanith sitting on his lap. Another Skulduggery sat across from Valkyrie. They all had steaming mugs of coffee in front of them.

"When can we open the presents?" Tanith asked loudly.

"Once Caelan gets here," Valkyrie replied.

Both Skulduggery and Fletcher grunted at this.

"Why did you have to invite him?" Fletcher grumbled.

"He said he never spent Christmas with anyone, so I thought it would be nice to let him spend it with us," she said. "I was just being friendly."

"Caelan is the only person you're friendly to," Fletcher said.

Valkyrie hit his arm. "Am not. I'm nice to my brother."

"He's only nine months old."

She shrugged. "No difference."

Tanith groaned and squirmed around. "Caelan should really hurry up."

"Why are the ghost for the present?" Skulduggery asked Tanith the Ghost.

"I'm the most excited for Christmas out of all of us," Tanith the Ghost said.

"Makes sense."

"So this is the Christmas that we'll experience this morning, then?" Skulduggery said.

Tanith the Ghost nodded slowly. "More or less. It's what you'll experience if you don't end up changing. Just…watch for now."

Skulduggery sighed and leaned against the wall and watched his present self interact with everyone. After some time, there was a polite knock at the door. Valkyrie jumped up to answer it; both Skulduggery's followed her. They both scowled and crossed their arms as Caelan stepped over the threshold.

"Caelan. Stupid, thick, awful, blood-suck-"

Tanith the Ghost elbowed Skulduggery in the ribs.

Skulduggery the Present allowed Caelan to pass him, giving him a glare to the back of the head as he did so. Valkyrie led the way, pulling up a chair for Caelan. He gingerly sat in the chair and gave a gentle smile to everyone.

"Hello," he muttered.

Everyone gave a halfhearted greeting back.

"Thank you for allowing me to spend the holiday here. I'm sure Valkyrie told you all-"

"Yeah, she did," Fletcher interrupted him gruffly.

Valkyrie took a deep breath and forced a smile on. "Tanith, you want to start opening presents?"

Tanith smiled widely, jumping off of Ghastly's lap and bounding into the living room where the little tree was.

The rest of the day was marginally happy, but Caelan's presence added tension between himself and Fletcher and Skulduggery. Tanith and Ghastly were now just indifferent; Fletcher and Skulduggery despised the vampire.

Hours went by. Skulduggery watched everyone enjoy their holiday. It was only after a few hours did it all go downhill. Tanith was playing with her remote control car when all of a sudden, something glass fell and broke.

Everyone ran into the kitchen to see a smashed glass on the floor. Fletcher and Caelan stood with their hands up and ready to fight. Valkyrie growled in frustration, grabbing both Fletcher and Skulduggery the Present by the collars and leading them out of the house and into the frigid air. Skulduggery followed them.

"What is your problem?" Valkyrie started out angrily. "What is just so wrong with being friends with Caelan? He keeps himself under control! I didn't notice anything strange or wrong about him. Fletcher, why do you have to hate him so much? Why? Just why?"

"He kept talking about you!" Fletcher said loudly. "He kept saying how you looked pretty or whatever, and I _know_ he's completely and utterly in love with you. It's not like I haven't noticed! I'm not an idiot, Valkyrie!"

"Why was I dragged out here?" Skulduggery the Present asked. "I didn't do anything."

"You haven't said _one_ word to Caelan this whole time," Valkyrie said, rounding on him, holding out her hand to stop Fletcher from talking. "The absolute least you can do is just be polite. But no, you have to be stupid. I get it. You don't think he can be trusted. But has he ever done anything bad? Has he betrayed us? Skulduggery, he played a major role in getting you back from the portal! That's how you repay him?"

"I ju-"

"Shut up!" Valkyrie shouted at Fletcher now. "You're really _annoying_ me right now, both of you. I'm just going to go get Caelan, and then we're leaving. Just leave me alone for a while, okay?"

Neither man responded.

Valkyrie sighed angrily and stomped into the house, returning shortly with Caelan trailing behind her. They passed Fletcher and Skulduggery the Present briskly, neither making eye contact with them.

Skulduggery looked over at Tanith the Ghost, who had a candy cane sticking out of her mouth. "Was that supposed to trigger something in my mind?" he asked softly.

"Yep!" she said. She sucked the candy cane hard and patted Skulduggery on the back. "Here, grab my hand. I just need to show you one little thing."

Skulduggery grabbed Tanith the Ghost's hand, and they were lifted into the air suddenly. After a few moments of floating along, Tanith the Ghost dropped Skulduggery in front of the window to Valkyrie's room. He peeked into the window and noticed she was crying. She was still dressed in her black clothing. Skulduggery peered over to the side and noticed Solomon Wreath standing in the corner. He gave a snarl of disgust as the Necromancer handed Valkyrie her black ring. She slipped it on and the shadows began curling up and around her hair and face. Skulduggery couldn't hear what they were saying, but he was sure it wasn't any good.

"I bet the future is going to _really_ bad," he mumbled.

Tanith the Ghost popped the candy cane from her mouth. "You got that right."

* * *

Again, Skulduggery Pleasant awoke abruptly.

He found himself sitting in his comfortable armchair once more. The clock on the wall read 2:54 AM. Valkyrie was still sleeping on the couch, though he noticed she had changed her position and was facing the other direction. He tucked the blankets around her tighter, and suddenly he remembered how she had screamed at his other self.

She was so angry! She never got that angry with anyone, let alone the fantastically amazing Skulduggery Pleasant. She shouted at Fletcher and then left with Caelan. Obviously something had just snapped in her, Skulduggery reasoned. These silly ghosts were nothing, and they certainly weren't doing anything to help him _change_.

_DING! DING! DING! _

"Surprise," someone said silkily in his ear.

Skulduggery flinched at the voice. He slowly pivoted and felt a shiver travel through his whole body.

"Nefarian Serpine, the Ghost of Christmas Future," Serpine said holding his red right hand out and bowing. "Come, Skulduggery Pleasant. You're much more suited for the bleak future you created."

"Why you?" Skulduggery asked quietly. "Why _must_ it be you?"

"The future is awful. I am awful. And perhaps I can get the message through you the best." Serpine pointed his hand sharply towards the skeleton, who momentarily cringed. Serpine laughed and gestured for Skulduggery to begin walking in front of him. Skulduggery treaded carefully, not entirely sure what was going to happen.

"Go outside," Serpine commanded. He stood straight and had his arms folded across his chest.

Skulduggery opened the front door and tilted his head slowly in bewilderment. Skulduggery descended the steps leading to his house. The instant his foot touched the ground, a ripple of air traveled around. The area around his house (including the two funeral homes) suddenly transformed into plain and barren land. Skulduggery turned around and saw Serpine standing where his house should be.

"What happened?" Skulduggery asked. "Is this next year's Christmas?"

"Oh, no it's not," Serpine said. "This is a good ten years ahead."

"So…the things that happened on this Christmas create this?"

Serpine nodded. "It jump starts it. Also, Darquesse blew up your house."

Skulduggery froze.

Darquesse?

"You don't mean…?"

"Oh yes I do."

"Se because we all hate Caelan, Valkyrie goes home, and then Wreath says things to convince her of something?"

"That's right, Skulduggery Pleasant. You've created Darquesse. Happy?"

"Where is she? Where's Valkyrie?"

"Where else?" Serpine replied casually. "She's at Gordon's."

Skulduggery broke into a run, not even noticing the hunk of metal that had once been his Bentley. He ran through the barren streets. They all looked normal, but the magic folk streets looked worse for their ware. At least she's ignoring the innocent, Skulduggery thought. He noticed China Sorrows' building still standing and looking fine. She was probably protecting it with her magic. Skulduggery passed by Ghastly's street. He stopped to stare at the empty place where the tailor's shop had once stood. He saw an old and rusty motorcycle had been thrown through the window, too. Skulduggery jogged past the little hotel Fletcher stayed at. He also stared at the rubble of the room where he would stay. Darquesse had killed them all…

Skulduggery arrived at Gordon's grand mansion after a while. He passed through the bars of the wrought iron fence and through the closed front door. The house was completely decked out in Christmas decorations; garland was draped everywhere, with white lights intertwined around them. Skulduggery heard laughter coming from the dining room and went to investigate.

The mahogany table was adorned with a scarlet red tablecloth. Beautiful china was set around the table neatly, and all different kinds of foods were placed around the table. Skulduggery saw Val-Darquesse standing and talking with her mother. Her father was talking to…Caelan? Val-Darquesse's younger brother, Peter, hung off of Caelan's shoulders.

The oven beeped, and Skulduggery watched them all enjoy a normal Christmas dinner.

Once Melissa, Desmond, and Peter had left, Darquesse and Caelan tore through the house, shutting off all of the lights and closing all the doors. Darquesse placed her hand on the front door, muttered something quietly, and Skulduggery heard the door click.

Skulduggery watched Caelan stalk up to Darquesse and actually kiss her. Know Skulduggery knew he would have to prevent _that_ from happening in the future. They walked up the stairs hand in hand, passing through the other rooms and stopped when they reached Gordon's old study.

Darquesse opened the door and instantly lashed out her leg and kicking whoever was waiting in there in the face.

"Oh, I was on my knees and everythin'!" Billy-Ray Sanguine shouted. He clutched his beaten face. "Besides, I have his skull!"

Darquesse smiled suddenly. "Let me see it. I want it. Give it to me."

Caelan gripped Sanguine and hoisted him up. Skulduggery peered closer at the cloth that was wrapped around a fairly large object. Sanguine unwrapped it and handed the gleaming white skull over to Darquesse.

She suddenly began cackling. "I win!" she shouted joyfully, hopping up onto the desk and holding the skull out. "I finally got it. Where did you find him, Sanguine?"

Skulduggery shook his head, realizing in vague horror that Darquesse was holding _his_ skull.

"He was lurking around London," Sanguine replied. "I sort of ran into him. He seemed…defeated. Funnybones went down easily. It was nice."

Darquesse nodded slowly. "You…killed him?"

"Well yeah. You wanted that, didn't ya?"

Darquesse sighed sadly and smiled sweetly. "Actually, I did not. You were supposed to get someone else's skull, exchange it, and then _I _would kill him at a later time."

Sanguine froze and looked around the room. "Oh God…I didn't even realize th-"

"Caelan, if you could," Darquesse muttered, stepping down from the desk and sitting delicately in the chair.

Caelan appeared suddenly from the dark corner of the room and pounced onto Sanguine swiftly. His teeth tore through his neck, ending the life of Billy-Ray Sanguine.

"Merry Christmas, have a dead hit-man," Darquesse said, waving her hand lazily, signaling for Caelan to get himself and Sanguine's body out of there. Caelan left, shutting the door behind him.

Darquesse set the skull on the table beside her. She simply stared at it for a long time.

"So," she finally muttered, toying with her coat. "You're dead. Thank goodness. I thought that would never happen. I mean, you kept just traipsing all around the planet! You were untraceable. I just could not find you. You're sneaky."

Skulduggery realized that his precious Valkyrie Cain had gone insane and had cracked in so many different ways.

Darquesse laughed for a moment. "I win," she kept saying. "This is so exciting. What a great Christmas present. I couldn't want anything else than this. Well, all right, I guess I would have avoided the you-dying-thing. I really wanted to kill you. Too bad Sanguine is an idiot, though he was pretty handy at times. I guess I also regret having to kill everyone else. But…it was fun, I'll admit. I remember killing Fletcher. That was interesting day. Caelan had burst into his room first. I followed all dramatic-like. Fletcher was scared out of his wits. He couldn't even say anything, let alone stop us from blowing up his entire room! Ha, that was great. Wasn't it? Yeah…it was."

"She's insane," Serpine suddenly said into Skulduggery's ear.

"She is," Skulduggery responded.

"It's your fault."

"I know." Skulduggery turned and faced Serpine. They were suddenly standing on a dingy street. The wind rattled Skulduggery's bones.

"There you are!" Serpine exclaimed happily, pointing with his red right hand down an alley. Skulduggery caught a glimpse of a chalk white arm and refused to look anymore.

"How can I fix this?" Skulduggery asked quietly.

Serpine smirked. "Oh, I don't know. Just figure something out, Skulduggery Pleasant. The world can still be saved."

* * *

Skulduggery Pleasant woke up with a very violent jolt. He frantically looked over at Valkyrie to check and make sure she was there. She was indeed still sleeping peacefully on the couch; one of her arms was hanging over the side.

Skulduggery checked the clock. 4:00 AM. Perfect. He quickly threw on his disguise, locked up his house entirely, and then set off. He spent about an hour checking all the still open bars around the city, until he finally stumbled upon the Weekly Baddie. He was drunk out of his mind, so instead of running, he tried getting Skulduggery to drink along with him. After he had quickly dumped him off at the Sanctuary, Skulduggery saw it was about 6 AM. He drove back to his house and roused Valkyrie.

"Where are we going?" she asked, suddenly alert.

"I'm taking you back home," he muttered quietly, leading her out of the house.

"What? Why?"

"Don't you want to spend Christmas with your family?"

"Well yeah, I guess, but don't we have to get that guy and then isn't everyone coming over later?"

"Yes, but they won't mind if you're not there for some of it. Do you still want to come back?"

"Yeah!" she said. "Of course I do."

"Good."

Valkyrie shrugged and climbed into the Bentley. Skulduggery started the car and drove her over to her house. He watched her sneak up the side and into her window leading into her room. Skulduggery sighed, knowing what she could become.

* * *

"No, Tanith, you have to wait," Ghastly Bespoke sighed. "Valkyrie will be here soon."

"Yeah, but she's bringing Caelan with her," Fletcher grumbled from his spot near the tree.

"Oh, whatever!" Tanith said. "He won't interfere with our presents."

"Fletcher, be nice to Caelan," Skulduggery said. "It's Christmas."

Tanith stared at Skulduggery. "But…you hate Caelan."

"As I said, it's Christmas. We can put away our hatred for a _day_."

Fletcher shrugged. "Just a smidge."

"Just don't punch him in the face, all right?"

"Why would I do that?"

"You seem very violent today."

Fletcher almost gave a rebut, but there was a little knock on the door. Skulduggery got up to open the door and took a shocked step back.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" China Sorrows asked. She was wearing a pristine white dress that went down to her knees. Her hair was left down with a red bow keeping some behind her face. Her lips were cherry red. She looked almost exactly like the ghost version Skulduggery had seen.

"I'm overjoyed," Skulduggery said, regaining his composure.

"I'd expect as much," she replied, passing him and greeting everyone else. She sat herself on the sofa and looked around. "Skulduggery, you should really decorate more."

"I tried to get him too, but this is all he would allow," Tanith said, pouting.

"Next year, then," Skulduggery said, smiling and sitting next to China. They waited for a while before there was another knock on the door. Fletcher raced to answer the door first. He opened the door, revealing Valkyrie and Caelan were standing there. Fletcher greeted them happily, hugging Valkyrie tightly. He hesitantly shook hands with Caelan.

"Thank you for allowing me to spend the holiday here," Caelan said.

Skulduggery almost laughed at the eerie similarities between the ghostly dream he had experienced and the real Christmas day.

"Anytime," Skulduggery said merrily. "You can be the new Christmas tradition."

"He's not an _object_," Valkyrie sighed, adding a smiling.

"He can be the vampire version of Santa Claus," Ghastly said.

"Oh my gosh, can we _please_ open presents?" Tanith shouted, holding a box in her hands. "I'm going to _die_ if I don't find out what this is."

"It's only super awesome," Fletcher laughed as she tore into the paper.

Valkyrie handed a present to Caelan and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Skulduggery noticed Fletcher see it and go red in the face. The skeleton held up his hands as a calming gesture, and Fletcher took a deep breath and smiled. Valkyrie also handed Fletcher a present, all that strange and sudden jealously he had felt melted away.

China remained sitting on the couch, and Skulduggery went to join her. "Do you ever think of that Christmas where your par-"

"I do, but let's not today," Skulduggery muttered.

China smiled and patted Skulduggery's hand. "Why the sudden love for Caelan? I thought you wanted to kill him brutally."

"No, I never wanted to kill him. I just…want him to leave and never return. But it's the holidays."

"You've suddenly turned into Ebenezer Scrooge," China laughed.

Skulduggery laughed. "Seems that way."

China got up and went and examined the remained presents under the tree. Her seat was replaced with Valkyrie who handed a present to Skulduggery.

"Yours," she said.

He smiled and set it aside. "Good Christmas?"

"Not bad," Valkyrie replied. "I'm enjoying the no Caelan hate. It's a nice addition. Why do you have a sudden change of heart?"

"Can't I be nice to someone for once?"

"No."

"Oh."

Valkyrie laughed and leaned up against Skulduggery. "Thank you," she muttered.

"For what?" Skulduggery asked. "For being so fantastically handsome and utterly dashing? I know; I thank me too."

"No, for just being a friend," Valkyrie said quietly.

Skulduggery and wrapped his arm around Valkyrie's shoulders. "Anytime."

"God bless us, everyone!" Fletcher shouted, a candy cane sticking out of his mouth. Valkyrie laughed and bounded up to him, stealing the candy straight from his mouth.

Skulduggery sighed softly, muttering a simple thank you to the strange spirits that visited him, and knew everything would turn out all right.

* * *

Merry Christmas! I apologize for any mistakes, and thanks a whole ton for reading! :DD


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